Sunday, 5 October 2014

Flutterby: The Very Short Story of a Very Short Sprite

This is an actual faerie tale, it is the story of a faerie, by a faerie. Her name is Lenka, and she lives in the dust on the bookcase.

I'm a house sprite and my name is Lenka. If you're too dull to know, a sprite is a kind of tiny flying faerie, like the ones you humans may have seen in children's books, but obviously much prettier and with a better sense of humour. I myself am exactly two dandelion petals high, I have fuzzy brown hair and I'm pale green or pale yellow depending what angle you look at me from.
It's a hard life being a sprite. There are only so many hours in a day and I have so much milk to turn sour, noses to tickle and dogs to confuse.
You may wonder why you haven't seen a sprite since two dandelion petals isn't exactly an invisible size; obviously, it's because we are so very fast, and you are so very dull. Children often see us, they're cleverer than you. You think they're pretending, but they're just telling the truth.
As I said, I'm a house sprite, which obviously means I live in your house. I hide in the dust and if I think I might be seen, I flap my wings and raise a cloud around me. If your house has no dust, obviously you're very boring and I don't want to live in your stupid house anyhow. My favourite place to sleep is on top of the dusty old books on the top shelf of the bookcase. The dust is great to hide in, and the lovely warm smell of the books helps me drift off to sleep. I don't need much sleep, twenty seconds or so in one of your days is enough for me; I have too much to do to sleep more than that, anyhow. I have mischief to make, pranks to pull and, you may find it strange, humans to help. I wouldn't tease you so much if I didn't like you! That's just how sprites are. Your face is so funny when you smell the milk you just bought yesterday and it's sour and lumpy, I can't help but turn it! I'm more than happy to help you find the coin you dropped though, or that bobby pin. If I see you drop a special thing I can use my faerie power to cushion its fall and stop it from breaking. I can't be everywhere though, so things will still go wrong if you have a house sprite, but they certainly won't go wrong as often.
All sprites, and I dare say most other kinds of faerie know humans were put on our planet for our entertainment. Cats, guinea pigs, dogs, chickens and ducks are also frightfully funny. Different faeries will enjoy tricking and playing with different animals, but we all love teasing humans.
My day looks a lot like this:

  • Fresh milk in the fridge! Turn it sour. Not just a bit sour, proper lumpy sour!
  • The dog has just woken up from a sleep. Tickle her nose and dash away! Fly back over, tickle her nose again, dash away again! Repeat until the dog gets in strife for barking at nothing. Dogs can often see us, so you think they're barking at the wall.
  • Make friends with the baby. Babies are good allies. They wake you up to come check on them, we tickle the tips of your toes just enough to make you think you're about to step on something in the dark. We do that enough, you fall over! The face giant animals make as they fall is hilarious!
  • I see you've been working on something all night and made a big stack of loose sheets of paper. It would be a real shame if I flew around the stack incredibly fast and blew them all off the table...
  • Annoy the dog again. Never stops being funny!
  • Tickle a human nose and dash away! This is very funny as you make the most delightful faces when you sneeze, and I'm great at getting sneezes out of humans.
  • All the humans in the house are asleep. Time to stir up the cat and have him chase me from room to room, knocking things off the shelves as he goes. If you've left your bedroom door open, I might even flutter across your faces. Such fun!
  • I see you've put your car keys away on their special hook. I'll just drag those into the fruit bowl for you. That will make your morning more exciting tomorrow!
  • The little girl is having a bad dream. I can hear her whimpering in her sleep. I go into her bedroom and gently stroke her eyebrow until she wakes up. I glow brightly to make sure she can see me. She smiles and goes back to sleep. She feels happy and safe because a faerie is watching over her.
So you see, humans make the very best pets for sprites. You're great fun to stir up, but we don't want anything really bad to happen to you.
If you think you might have a house sprite, whisper your wishiest wish, and maybe we will use our faerie power to help you out.

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